#15 No Longer Running: Embracing God's Plan

I wanted to share an interview that I did on the Weeds, Seeds, & Beautiful Things podcast. It's my story, the in's and the out's.  It's messy, it's ugly, it's my running story. 

How far would you go to escape the hard truths and challenges in your life? Well, I ran all the way from God and the good things in life, hiding behind a lifestyle of partying and drinking, and in the process neglecting the divine call I was receiving. It's time we had a frank discussion about our tendencies to avoid confronting the realities of life, and in this episode, I do just that with my dear friend, Connie, from Weed Seeds and Beautiful Things.

We talk about my journey of self-discovery and acceptance, and the transformation that took place after I stopped running from God's call. The story of how I found a different path with the help of a small church and a loving youth pastor is one that I hold close to my heart. My past experiences, however painful, had helped shape my calling, and it was time to face it head-on. Join us as we navigate through my trials and tribulations, taking a closer look at the importance of understanding and accepting God's plan for us, regardless of our circumstances.

In this deeply personal narrative, we also explore my calling to help women going through similar experiences. Despite my initial reluctance, I realized that my hardships had a purpose: to guide women towards overcoming their abuse and finding their purpose in life. This is a testament to the fact that, regardless of what we go through, God has a plan for us, and it is always good. So let's take off our running shoes and embrace His calling, trusting in the bigger picture He has painted for us. No more running, let's face life, and its challenges, head-on.

If you are interested in the Weeds Seeds & Beautiful Things you can follow them on Instagram and you can connect with the host, Constance (Connie) Lawson at www.weedsseedsbeautifulthings.com 

Would you like to do some one-on-one coaching with Crystal? You can go to www.crystalloyd.com and click on coaching and connect with her on No More Running Facebook and Instagram @crystalloyd2

Music By:
Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!):
https://uppbeat.io/t/ben-johnson/the-closer-we-feel
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Have you ever found yourself running? Running mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and even running physically from things in this life. This is No More Running. The podcast for women. Hello, I'm your host, Crystal Loyd, and I've been known to run and still find myself running from the things in this life. Running from God, His calling, his purpose for my life. Running from change that's within my control, that needs to be made, or any type of change. Running from hard or even good or even just simple little things in this life. And God said to me Crystal, if you will stop running and surrender, there are things that we can accomplish together. Maybe you find yourself running as I have. I want you to know that you're not alone. Let's go from running to No More Running together. Let's get started with prayer, holy Spirit, we invite you to be a part of the podcast, the lessons, the life coaching and the sharing of our stories. Let it be known today that you are God. God, help us to go from running in this life, from whatever it may be that we're running from, from running to No More Running. In Jesus name.

Speaker 1: 1:33

On today's episode, i wanted to share with you an interview that I did with my friend Connie from Weed Seeds and Beautiful Things. I will warn you that my story is messy. It's not pretty in some areas, it's hard to share about the childhood abuse that I went through And it's even hard to share about the things that I did while I was running from God. But I wanted to share that interview with you all on No More Running. So I hope you enjoy today's podcast and please leave a review, like and share and follow And let me know what you think and let me know if you can relate as well. So remember it's Weed Seeds and Beautiful Things, connie Lawson, and if you want to also check out her podcast as well. So here we go.

Speaker 2: 2:35

So I am so happy to have Crystal on the show. Crystal, thank you for taking time out of your day and joining the Weed Seeds and Beautiful Things podcast. Crystal.

Speaker 1: 2:43

Lawson, thank you for inviting me. I'm so excited A little nervous, of course, but I'm so excited, and I have just enjoyed getting to know you and listening to your podcast as well. I'm so excited, crystal Lawson, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 2: 2:59

So I want to jump in today and I just want you to kind of give my guests a little bit of history. Who are you, where did you come from and what got you into the podcasting scene? Crystal Lawson Okay All right?

Speaker 1: 3:13

Well, as you have said, my name is Crystal Lloyd and I am from a small town called New Port, tennessee. I mean a little bitty town, and I actually don't live in my hometown now, but and we'll get into why we moved away. But that's who I am. I am the oldest of oh my goodness, how many. I've got three sisters and three brothers. So, seven of us all together with my mom and my dad combined, so I am the oldest of. You know the big bossy. You know sister, big sister, crystal Lawson.

Speaker 2: 3:52

Probably a caretaker too.

Speaker 1: 3:54

Crystal Lawson, oh, yes, oh for sure, yeah, yeah, but how did I get into podcasting? Well, i mean, i'm just new at podcasting. So really, honestly, i don't know what I'm doing much And I have learned a lot from you and you just telling me and from other people. I've just learned so much And so I'm kind of new at this, but I love it And I'm hoping to grow, you know, in podcasting, in life coaching and speaking. But anyways, back to who I am.

Speaker 1: 4:34

I am a woman of when I was younger And this is probably the hardest part of my story to talk about but the abuse that I endured as a child, as a small child, and then later on in my preteen years, and then getting the courage to finally say something about that, and I ran away. I snuck out my window and ran away as a child and had my grandmother to pick me up And the police were called And of course I let them know what was going on, but wasn't believed in that. And then maybe, and I was made to go back home within the next day of that And I continue to.

Speaker 2: 5:23

So I ask is this was this physical abuse or sexual abuse? Or do you not want to share that with our audience, or?

Speaker 1: 5:29

No, that's fine, It was sexual abuse. It was, you know, men and and a boy of the same age as me. Okay, i was sexual abused multiple times by then, And so at the point that I did finally tell somebody when I was in my preteens, I had not told anybody about when I was younger. I was just too afraid. It's very hard as a child to speak of that, and even as an adult, if you went through that, it's just very hard to even go back to those dark times in your life.

Speaker 1: 6:10

And so but that's, that is something that I went through. It's not really who I am, and you know Satan has has told me well, that's who you are. You're just this abused a little girl. but that's just lies from Satan.

Speaker 2: 6:26

That is not true.

Speaker 1: 6:27

That's not who I am, that's what happened to me. But anyway, so you know, i went back, i was made to go back, and then I kind of ran in in. I just I kind of once I was wrong circles, yeah, yeah, yes, once I was made to go back, i did whatever I could to be away from that house with my stepdad And I.

Speaker 1: 6:53

I started hanging around more friends And and then I remember a time when I was praying at my home after I had to go back because my, my mom, had been abused by my first, by her first husband, but my first stepdad, which I thought at the time was my dad, and then later on I realized wow, so you're not my dad.

Speaker 2: 7:18

So your mom was married before and you thought that that person was your father, yes, and he abused your mother. and then come to find out he's not actually your father. Your mother remarries, and then the second husband is part of this cycle of abuse that happens to you. Yes, yes, okay, that's some hard stuff. Oh, it's very hard, very hard.

Speaker 2: 7:39

So during this time I'm just gonna interrupt because this is important. No, it's fine During this time did you know the Lord, or had you been exposed to the Lord, or when did you kind of come to know the Lord? and then, how did this sexual abuse affect your relationship with the Lord?

Speaker 1: 7:55

Okay, I was a young girl when it first happened, and by an elderly man and then a boy of the same age, and then later on I was in my preteen. So I was like seventh, eighth grade when my stepdad, the second marriage of my mom's, that he abused me And so we had when she was married to my sister and brother's dad. We had lived in a set of projects and there was a small church in that set of projects And I went there and that's where I first and I was young had first gave my life to the Lord and then she remarried. So it was supposed to be better And I know in my mom's heart and hopes that this marriage and this man was going to be better for her and for our family, and so it moved us out of this set of projects that we lived in.

Speaker 1: 8:55

And so then we were at this new house, and of course I wasn't believed in the sexual abuse, and so I was praying one day, and I was praying for my future husband, because I didn't grow up in a Christian home, but my mom told us about Jesus, and then of, course I had been going to that small church within the set of projects that we, that I attended and my sisters and my brother had attended.

Speaker 1: 9:27

So, anyways, I was praying for my husband and I remember praying that God would give me a man that would read his Bible with me and that loved God. And then I threw in there that would have green eyes. So I was young and so I was like Lord, give me a husband that will read his Bible with me and I love God and that has green eyes, Lord.

Speaker 2: 9:56

That strikes me because as a young child that's facing abuse and without and not coming from a Christian background where you have that stability of just being taken to church and seeing what healthy relationships look like Not saying that all Christians are healthy, but that principle of that should be there Anyway and you're having this completely backwards experience. You're being abused, you're being treated by men who resemble are supposed to resemble, god or heavenly father, and you're being treated by them in ways that totally are not how God relates to his children. And yet you're still praying and you're still asking God for a husband down the road that loves God, that reads his Bible, and then you kind of throw in that childlike give me confirmation with green eyes too. How did you have a love for God while you're going through this as a child, in your formative years? I mean, i know that it was the Holy Spirit, but do you have any thoughts as to what?

Speaker 1: 11:05

Yeah, I have always loved God. I have always since a child, and my family has seen nothing but abuse Their husbands. That they married my mom's first husband, he beat on her physically and abused her physically, emotionally, verbally, all of that. So I had seen all of that abuse and went through all of that And they that my whole family would say, crystal, never marry, never marry, never marry. And I would always say I would always say nothing when God wants for you, and I don't even know where this came from, just other than just the Holy Spirit just speaking.

Speaker 2: 11:46

Yeah, he had his hand on you very obviously because, statistically speaking, when you live generationally in lines of family that repeat the same destructive patterns and behaviors, the chances that you, the children, will fall into those same patterns is so high. And that's why you get generational sin curses, because it just keeps repeating itself. Because when you grow up in a home and an environment where things are poured into you and poured over you that are negative, to break out of that and go do something different, it's not like, it's just not likely, it's just not statistically what happens. So it's very obvious to me that the Lord just had his hand on you through all of these, all of these terrible things. So tell us about what happened after.

Speaker 1: 12:43

Well, you know, when I was praying I heard the Lord say you're gonna marry a preacher, and I had never heard God speak to me before. Nobody ever taught me that God spoke to you when you're reading your Bible and when you're praying. And so I was shocked. I didn't know where this came from. Like I said, there was no preachers in our family. I did not grow up in any type of way Christian family at all And all I've ever seen was the abuse and just the anger and all of that. But I heard that and I didn't know what to do with that. Plus, i wasn't believed in the sexual abuse. So I knew I wasn't going to tell anybody what I thought God had told me, because I thought who will believe me? that God told me a seventh eighth grader that you're gonna marry a preacher. Well, of course I was like I don't know about that, god. And that is when I started running. That is when I started running from God. What I heard him say And I was like that scared me. I mean I added I didn't know what that meant, i didn't, and I was scared. I was. So that's when I started staying on out with friends Here there, anything to get away from that house And I eventually found myself living with my dad And so, anyways.

Speaker 1: 14:14

So I continued to pray, but I didn't go to church during this time because we had moved away from a church, and so I found myself living with my dad, and basically my real dad and my biological dad, and he was a stranger. I had met him several times in my childhood, but I wasn't, you know, i wasn't, I didn't know this man, but he showed me a different way of life. He wasn't a Christian, he isn't a Christian, and but he showed me he was a hard worker, he was a con man, he wasn't abusive in any way, and but my mom and my dad never married. My mom had me when she was 14 years old.

Speaker 1: 15:01

She was, my dad was 18 and he had plans to go into the army. So they never married And so their relationship was very rocky And has always been very rocky. But but I had to stay with him for a while. My sister closest to me had been abused as well. It wasn't just me that had been abused from my stepdad. So she, she finally got somebody to believe her. But she had to make a threat. Like you know, I'm going to, I'm going to kill myself. I am it. I can't go back to this house. I can't continue living in this house.

Speaker 2: 15:41

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 15:42

So finally somebody believed her And then she was taken and put in her first foster home And so so, anyways, i was living with my dad And and eventually my mom got an apartment and divorced the man that had abused us, and she was able to get my sister back out of foster care And so I moved back in with my mom and my sisters And then I mean, at this point I mean I'm pretty wild. I am drinking, i am partying, i'm having sex with this guy or that guy or you know whatever I could do, basically to run from what I thought God was telling me to do And then run from ever getting hurt again as well. So, yeah, i did, i did some pretty things, pretty things that I'm ashamed of now, but I know that God has forgiven me.

Speaker 1: 16:37

And he had a beautiful, even though I was running from the Lord and running from what he told me. He never let me forget that I always he always reminded me of his plans that he had for me. Always he said you're going to marry a preacher And you know part of part of that within me. I wanted that. I wanted to know how that looked. I wanted to know that man Because I thought you know he's a godly man And I wanted to you know, to be a part of that plan.

Speaker 2: 17:14

But I ran.

Speaker 1: 17:15

I just ran And so, anyways, i quit school during this time. High school. At this point I'm in high school and I quit school, and then they made me go back to school, go back to high school. But during this time I was put in a foster home, and it was the second foster home for my sister, but it was the first foster home for me. And, you know, god put a stop to my running. I needed that. I was just, i was continuing running, drinking, partying, and then I found myself before standing before a judge, and here, you know, with a huge attitude.

Speaker 2: 17:59

And.

Speaker 1: 17:59

I was like you know who are you, buddy? I've been taking care of myself for a long time now, so I'm just fine And I'm fine at running And I've been doing it for a while and I'm good at it, So but he put a stop to my running And I was in that foster home and was made to go back to school, And that's where I got invited to a small church And I went because I thought whatever gets me away from these strangers, these foster parent people, I'll go, you know.

Speaker 1: 18:29

I'll go. And so me and my sister went and I met this youth pastor And his wife and they loved me And I finally found a place that that I belong, that I could felt like I could take my running shoes off and say, okay, okay, lord, i found a place that.

Speaker 2: 18:49

I love that.

Speaker 1: 18:51

Yeah, a place that I belong, and I think youth groups are so important.

Speaker 2: 18:55

So they are. I want to stop in and go back to something that you said, that you said I found a place where I can take my running shoes off. I feel like there's so much there. I feel like we all have a pair of running shoes that we put on And it's. It's a piece of something that isn't from the Lord, whatever it may be, whatever way of running it is, whether drugs, alcohol, pornography, whatever it may be overeating medications, leaving your family, you know, just not being there emotionally. We put on this thing to get away from the things that we're scared of, and the things that we're scared of are often things that are better than where we're at. But because we don't know them, we were so used to being hurt, we're so used to being let down that we would rather continue on running and doing things that are destructive than settling down and trusting God with our heart.

Speaker 1: 19:52

Yes.

Speaker 2: 19:53

And so that's really powerful that you said that you found a place, because I think God orchestrated that place for you. I think so too. He allowed. He allowed all the stuff that happened, and that that can go into its own. You know, days and days long theological debate, emotional debate on why God would allow something, but all I'm going to say about that is that he's good. He's good all the time, because if he's ever not good, then he's not trustworthy, and so he either has to be good all the time or he's a waste of time, and so I choose to believe that he's good all the time. But he allowed this stuff to happen to you, and then he never let you go. He made room for your wildness. He made room for your human, sinful nature and your recklessness.

Speaker 1: 20:38

Yes, but he orchestrated that Yes.

Speaker 2: 20:42

And he orchestrated a place for you to begin to find rest and restoration.

Speaker 1: 20:48

But if I'm honest, Connie, I can't my run and choose close by Yeah.

Speaker 2: 20:54

And I still do, if I'm honest, because you know what if I get hurt, what if somebody hurts me, what if somebody else, what if you know, what if, what if, what if, and I think that's the progressive, the progressive sanctification process, as, as we mature and as we walk with the Lord, we can let our running shoes go a little bit further and we can walk away from them a little bit longer, you know. And so it's that. It's that progressive, realizing that God is trustworthy and that we can really grow and that we can handle our own failures and the failures of other people because we're getting closer to God. And so I think anyone that's honest, anyone that's human, will still have their running shoes in view, because I think that's a that's part of being a human. And we wear out and we reach our end and we get tired and we get hurt and we don't have any more to give And we will go back to our old devices, but it's God that remains faithful to us, and so that's that's.

Speaker 2: 21:58

The beautiful thing is that we really don't have to have it all together for God to love us, not stop loving us, and continue to work out his good plan in our life. And your story really, really shows that. It really shows just this overarching presence of a God really in your formative years that you had, you didn't know, yet somehow you were tied to, and then this provision all through the years of every single circumstance And you look at it. You look how many years that took to get you to just to this place in your story that you're at right now. That's a lot of years and a lot of sorrow.

Speaker 1: 22:38

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Well, and then to go back to the story, this is where, in this youth group, this is where I met my husband. And then I remember we were both in the same youth group. He helped out with the youth group as well, and the Lord did not allow me to see him, I mean until it was the time was right, and he was part of this youth group And I was part of this youth group, but one day, me and my best friend and him and another guy that I'm friends with, that we're friends with, we were doing a Bible study at my best friend's house And I remember the mattress being on the floor and him sitting on the floor and he was reading his Bible, and we were doing a Bible study And at that very moment, the Lord opened my eyes to him and I just, i like almost instantly, i fell in love with him.

Speaker 1: 23:45

And then later I realized that, you know, he was called to preach, that he felt God was calling him to preach, and then, of course, he had the beautiful green eyes, and so I was like, oh wow, you know, and God reminded me. He reminded me of his you know the prayer that I had prayed and that this was the answer to my prayer, when I feel like God had opened my eyes to him. And so, anyways, we ended up dating, getting engaged and then, within nine months, we were married, and then now we've been married. Oh, I think it's like 26 years now. Wow, Yeah, and I think this year coming up will be 27 years. So we fell in love and then we knew God had called us into the ministry. We both knew that God had called us into the ministry and we served in the ministry for 18 years and we had some good years in the ministry.

Speaker 2: 24:53

Wonderful.

Speaker 1: 24:54

But my husband was a senior pastor where we attended and we were part of the youth group in the same church. We stayed with the same church for years and we never went anywhere else and God had never called us anywhere else. So we were as part of that. But then my husband had made some decisions as a senior pastor and, as they have to do, sometimes those hard decisions and conflict arose within the church And based on some of his decisions then they didn't agree with.

Speaker 1: 25:30

So then, of course, in that during that time and before this happened, connie, i had felt God telling me that he wanted me to preach and speak and share my story. And I mean I was doing the women's ministry, some, and I was doing whatever needed to be done in the church. But I felt like God was calling me to this. And I had spoke to a woman in our community, a leader in our community, and told her that I felt like God was calling me to preach, like and I explained it like this like Beth Moore or Joyce Myers, and that's the only people that I knew, and I didn't even know at the time much of Joyce Myers story, but I knew that I had felt God calling me to a deeper relationship and a deeper ministry than this, and so she had shared with me that maybe that I could share my messages or my ideas with my husband and let him preach that.

Speaker 1: 26:44

And so then I got very discouraged. I didn't have any support and my family did not agree with women's preaching and speaking and all of that. They were very, you know, they even had a hard time with contemporary music and hard time with the me not wearing a dress at church. You know things like that. But so I never told anybody else, i didn't tell the church what I felt God calling me to do. I got my running shoes back on, basically, and so I was like I didn't know that, god. You know, i knew I was gonna marry a preacher because God told me that, but I didn't know that God was gonna call me to preach or speak or share my story. So that scared me. I was scared, so of course I got my running shoes on, but again, then conflict arose in the church And sometimes I wonder, and I look back and I think did conflict arise because I was disobedient with the Lord? Because if we look at Jonah, he was disobedient and then the storm came.

Speaker 2: 27:56

And so I have looked on that several times and say I should have been more disobedient, i should have said yes to the Lord And I should have Well and it's interesting that you say that, because normally we like to avoid admitting when we're disobedient because we can validate it by saying I was scared, i didn't do anything overtly sinful, like I didn't go out and start having affairs again or I didn't get back into drug use. I just didn't do what I felt like he told me to do, which essentially is what Jonah did. I mean, he didn't begin living a sinful lifestyle, he just didn't go where he was supposed to go. He went somewhere different, and so and it's interesting, because his disobedience caused him to go somewhere that God didn't tell him to go, the storm actually ended up being the reason that he went all the way back to the beginning.

Speaker 2: 28:53

The story of Jonah always strikes me because we think that Jonah disobeyed God. He ended up in the belly of the whale, he got spit out at the end of those three days and he went on to Nineveh. But that's not actually what happened. What happened was Jonah was sent all the way back to the place that he was supposed to start to obey God. He had to go back to the place where he ran from and then go to Nineveh, so it was this really long journey that was created out of this act of disobedience, because God didn't let Jonah go from A to over here, where he wanted to go, and then to Z. He made him go all the way back to A and get all the way down to Z again.

Speaker 2: 29:33

So it's interesting that you say that and I don't wanna applaud you, but you know what I mean. Normally we would rather not just say I disobeyed and maybe God had to get my attention and it came through an uncomfortable thing like this church conflict. So I think, way to go, and that's how you grow with the Lord as you admit the things that he shows you, you deal with them as he brings them up to you.

Speaker 1: 29:55

Yes, amen, true, very true, but so, anyways, the conflict had arose within the church and we are non-confrontational people, we do not like confrontation or whatever and we love these people. I mean, you have to keep in mind that we grew up with these people, we were in the youth group and they loved us throughout our whole lives. They loved us when we got married. They loved us when we had our babies. They loved our children.

Speaker 1: 30:24

So this was hard, very, very hard, and a hard decision as well. And once we left the church, once we said yes, that we're leaving, it was the hardest thing ever. And then my favorite verse is the Jeremiah 29-11, and I love that. It talks about the Lord has plans for you. And so I was like Lord, i was confused. I'm like I thought you had a plan. Then, okay, did we hear you wrong? Was we not supposed to go in the ministry? What do we do now, lord? And then I was just so hurt And for a period of time we stopped going to church.

Speaker 1: 31:09

Our children were hurt, we were hurt. And then I remember my son. When we would visit other churches, he would always cry and say I want to go back to my church. That's all they had ever known. And so it was very hard. So we had to take a break. We had to take a break from church And it became. The break was meant to be short, but it was longer, a lot longer than what we had originally thought. And then I stayed stuck in that hurt for so long, for years, years, years just stayed stuck. I isolated myself. I didn't do community. I still even have a hard time with community and even, like with church, sometimes I find myself withdrawing again. But I'm come to the point now that I feel like God has woken me up, opened my eyes, opened my ears, spiritually. Covid had changed my life. I had COVID January 2022. And I was praying and I asked the Lord. I said are you done with me?

Speaker 1: 32:21

Are you, have I fulfilled my calling? Have I lived out my purpose for this life? And it was like my heart and my ears and my eyes were open and I heard the Lord And He clearly told me not like me.

Speaker 1: 32:39

and you are sitting here talking but, He clearly told me your calling, your purpose, has not changed. I mean, he says I appointed you, i knew you before you were born, i had this set you set apart before you were born. And so I just I felt like, okay, god, no more running, i surrender. And leaving the church was very hard And it was a sense of running for me. So I put my running shoes on and went to running and I had been running for years from that calling that I felt Him call me to preach, speak, share my story, and then just the ministry altogether. And then Satan, during those years of just isolation and hurt and pain, satan told me lies like, you don't need to go back in the ministry, you'll just get hurt again. You'll hurt again.

Speaker 2: 33:39

You'll hurt people again.

Speaker 1: 33:42

And so I listened to those lies year after year after year, until COVID. And that's when I had that heart to heart with Jesus and I was like I just thought God was done, done with me Because people had so many people had died of COVID and I was struggling because I had I have addisons on top of COVID And so I was struggling with just getting better and doing better and with my energy and even going back to work. I missed so much work during that time And so I just prayed and I just clearly asked God I need to know God, are you done with me? And I just love, i love how he just affirmed my calling. He affirmed that he still loved me even though I was running and he had been with me the whole time, each time in my life that I had been running from the Lord, that he's been there with me the whole time, That he hadn't left my side. I had left him, but he had never left my side and he still has a wonderful plan, a wonderful calling, a wonderful anointing on my life. And now and that's what I've been doing And that's kind of how I got into podcasts I was like, please, i want to help women.

Speaker 1: 35:11

I knew I wanted to help women. I wanted to help them to refuse to stay stuck, to help them not to stay stuck in their hurt or their pain. And then I also want to help women, whatever they're running from the life coach. This is where the life coach comes in And I want to help women. Let's talk about why you're running. I realized, looking back, like the abuse and just the different things that had happened in my life. That's why I was running. That's why I always had my running shoes on or close by, just in case I needed to grab them and run again. So that is where I'm at now. I want to podcast and share my story and help women to go from running to no more running.

Speaker 2: 36:05

I think that that message is where we'll land today, and that's the most important thing that we could give anyone Is this understanding that it does not matter what you go through, god never leaves your side And he has a plan that is good for your life. And it does not mean that you have to have a life full of good circumstances for God to use you or as an indication that God loves you. In fact, it's quite the opposite that when we're going through things, we can know that God is the friend that sticks closer than our brother, and that, as Crystal said to Jeremiah 29, 11, i love the rendering of that verse that includes what it says. For I know the thoughts and the plans that I have for you, says the Lord, good thoughts and good plans to prosper you. And what that tells me is that God doesn't just know the plans, the physical places He's going to put us, but He also knows what He thinks of us, and it doesn't change.

Speaker 1: 37:15

Yeah, no, he said that apart before I was born. And what He has planned for you as well, Connie, and all the women that are listening, he said that apart for just you, just you, before you were born. And it's a wonderful calling. It's whatever that may be, whether maybe it's life coaching, maybe it's speaking, maybe it's podcasting, but maybe it's something totally different Being a pastor's wife, that's a calling.

Speaker 1: 37:46

Yeah it is, and I know a lot of pastor's wives that have been hurt And then we get confused with our calling when we get hurt in the ministry or we you know our husbands leave and we leave the ministry or we go to this church or that church or whatever You know. We just were like okay, god, well, i thought this is what you had, yeah.

Speaker 2: 38:09

So yeah.

Speaker 1: 38:09

And then I also love the part in Jeremiah 29 and 11 that says not to harm you. Because, connie, i have been through so much in my childhood harm and abuse. And to have that reassurance from God that others may hurt you and they will and they have, but not God, he is not to harm you. I mean, we think like why did I go through this Lord? Why did we have to leave in this way with the church that we love and the people that we loved, and why did they hurt us? I thought they said they loved us. You know, we question God with those things, but God reassures us that he is not to harm us. And I love that part of that verse because it tells me that I can trust God for who he is and what he does, and I just love it. I love it, i love God And I want to do whatever.

Speaker 2: 39:09

So yes, i'm so thankful that we connected.

Speaker 2: 39:15

We got to speak on the phone a little bit before and just knowing that in this podcasting business, for Christian podcasters who are actually trying to follow the Lord like their podcast is an extension of their relationship to Jesus, which I know yours is and I know mine is.

Speaker 2: 39:34

We believe that the connections we make are divine.

Speaker 2: 39:38

Yes, we believe that if we're prayerfully seeking how to move our ministry forward and really the ministry the word ministry our ministry is just simply to give God glory and help other people to know the God that we know, yes, and to choose to follow the God that we know, despite what's going on in your life. So I believe that our connection is divine and I believe that the people that listen to this episode are going to be blessed in so many ways because there's just so much truth that you've spoken And I am just so grateful that I've had the privilege of having you on the show and then I get to share your story of what God has done in your life and how he is being glorified and how he is bringing you up through the pain and through the sorrow, and those are the exact things that have helped you to become a good, godly lover of other women, to show them the hands and feet of Jesus, and so I'm just really, really thankful that I've got to have you on the show.

Speaker 2: 40:40

Please tell my guests where they can find you on social media and the web. And then, guys, i'm going to link below in the show notes Crystal's website and her social media contact so that you can go and check her out, give her a like and a follow her podcast. I'll have all of that linked below Show the love, share it. Go, give her a like, a subscribe, listen. That is. The most helpful thing for us podcasters is to get a good review and to get a like and a subscribe to our show. So if you have any time, i would encourage you to go over and listen to her podcast, check out her website And now I'm going to let her tell you where it's at, and then we will exit for today.

Speaker 1: 41:24

Okay, thank you, connie, it's such, it's been such a privilege, and thank you for letting me share my story, a hard, hard story, and thank you, i appreciate all everything. But you can find me, of course, at the crystalloycom and you can sign up to be a guest on my podcast.

Speaker 2: 41:44

Well, guys, this has been another incredible episode of the weed seeds and beautiful things podcast, with my special guest Crystal Lloyd. You can find her at crystalloycom, that's C-R-Y-S-T-A-L-L-O-Y-Dcom. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Be sure to share this episode with your family and friends, and I will see you next time.

Speaker 1: 42:05

Hey, don't forget, you can sign up for the no more running email list at info at crystalloycom and make sure to like, share and follow. We would love for you to leave a review for the podcast. This helps us reach even more women who might find themselves running as well. Got to run.