#24 Finding Hope in the Midst of Struggle: Brenna Naufel's Journey of Redemption and Faith-Part 2

Have you ever felt like a horse tied so tight that you can't move? Perhaps you're running from something, and you're not even sure what it is. This episode features an enlightening conversation with Brenna, a woman who found herself in a similar situation. She reveals how, in her darkest times, she found hope in God's love and how this faith led her through her personal challenges to a place of surrender, understanding, and renewed purpose. Listen as she courageously shares her journey of overcoming sin and self-doubt and how she found redemption and a deeper relationship with God.

Fast forward to her ministry life where she walks side by side with her husband, Garrett. The road hasn't always been smooth sailing, but their faith has played an instrumental role in their healing journey. Brenna opens up about the acceptance they found in the church, the challenges they faced, and the profound impact of their faith on their healing process. Their story of forgiveness, redemption, and love is a testament to the potential for healing and restoration in all our lives. So, if you're seeking comfort, looking for hope or just need a reminder of the power of faith, this episode is a must-listen.

To learn more about Brenna Naufel's story and her book, From Lover to Beloved, visit her website at www.fromlovertobeloved.com (there are some additional resources on this site as well)

Please follow on Instagram @brennanaufel

Enjoy my etsy shop - https://www.etsy.com/shop/SkippingLikeaCalf (SAVE 20% with code NOMORERUNNING) 

Also, here is a direct link to my book on Amazon if you are interested in checking it out! 

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:07

Have you ever found yourself running? Running mentally, emotionally, spiritually, financially and even running physically from things in this life. This is no More Running. The podcast for women. Hello, I'm your host, crystal Lloyd, and I've been known to run and still find myself running from the things in this life. Running from God, His calling, his purpose for my life, running from change that's within my control, that needs to be made, or any type of change. Running from horror or even good or even just simple little things in this life. And God said to me Crystal, if you will stop running and surrender, there are things that we can accomplish together. Maybe you find yourself running as I have. I want you to know that you're not alone. Let's go from running to no More Running together.

Speaker 1: 1:00

Let's get started with prayer. Holy Spirit, we invite you to be a part of the podcast, the lessons, the life coaching and the sharing of our stories. Let it be known today that you are God. God, help us to go from running in this life, from whatever it may be that we're running from, from running to no More Running. In Jesus' name, thank you for joining us today, and on today's episode it's part two of Brina's Story, so if you haven't listened to part one. Jump back and listen to part one and then come right back to part two story, because you don't want to miss a thing about Brina's story. Thank you for joining us today. Let's jump right in.

Speaker 2: 1:56

So actually I'd love to share another kind of God's story of things that he was speaking to me on. And it was three months or so after I had confessed to Garrett. We still attended a staff retreat, even though he was on sabbatical. I attended a staff retreat in Colorado at the Y in Estes Park, and I just had some time while he was in meetings for me to get some time alone with the Lord and I decided to go on a hike and I went a particular way on this hike. That would go by the livery where the horses were, and I imagined in my mind that I was going to have this amazing moment with the horses and they would see me and come running over to me and, like I don't know, I just had this picture of my mind of what I kind of wanted to experience with God on this hike. And so I went this direction and I started to come up upon the horses and I could see them all, but not super clearly, but none of them were like running over to me, like I was expecting them to, and I wasn't having this God moment that I had in my mind. But as I got closer I could see that every single horse was tied so tightly by the bit in their mouth to the pole that was in front of them that they couldn't even move their head one direction or the other.

Speaker 2: 3:17

And it made me really mad, because I'm thinking we're in Colorado. These are like wide, open spaces, you know, I wanted to see the horses running and here they were, like tied so tightly they couldn't even move, and I was really angry. Like there was just like livid almost kind of anger that came up in me, like this is not right, this is not what horses were created for, like they shouldn't be living like this. And I felt God in that moment say Brenna, you were like this horse. You were like this horse when you were living in sin. I created you to run in freedom and joy and to feel the breeze of my grace running through your hair. But this is how you were living. And he reminded me of the verse in Psalm 32, 9 that says do not be like the horse or the mule, which have no understanding but must be controlled by bit and bridle or they will not come to you. And that was me. That is how I had been living for so long. You're really sweet, wasn't you?

Speaker 1: 4:22

Yes, I love that. I mean it even shows like we need that. We need that bridle, you know, to guide us along. And God does that for our own good, just like the owner had done that for the horses for their own good, I'm sure. And so that's beautiful. I love it. I love that. When was the point where you've confessed and we went over that, and then you're in counseling, and then when was the point where you felt like you're healing, your marriage is healing? When was that for you? Was it a month, two years, five years?

Speaker 2: 5:07

I mean, you know, how long did it take to feel yeah, that's a great question and I don't know if I can pinpoint it exactly there were so many just kind of this other, you know, kind of God moment that I had so many more of those throughout this journey and it was always just what I needed at the time to kind of keep going. So there were certainly moments where Garrett in particular would say, like this is all hopeless. He never really wanted to consider divorce, but he would say like, even if we reconcile, like our marriage is gonna be like nothing, it's gonna be a shell of a human, like there's gonna be no joy and no laugh, like there's nothing to look forward to in this marriage. And I felt like God all along would give me this extra amount of hope when Garrett had no hope. Like he gave me double hope, you know, and it was his hope that carried me through.

Speaker 2: 6:07

And so I can honestly say that, since, even in the first few days, that I never felt like we wouldn't make it and that I had this amazing hope that it could even be more beautiful than it was before. But that was 100% the Lord, you know. And there were times, I remember, when I would feel like Lord how long, you know, like, because again, like we're going through this process for days, for weeks, for months that turn into years, where Garrett was still working on being able to say he forgave me and I was like super hopeless at this one time where I'm like God, how long, and another quick story. I'm sorry, but there's so many to share.

Speaker 1: 6:54

That's great.

Speaker 2: 6:54

That's great. I had this dream one night when I was feeling this way and it was one of those dreams that was like kind of so real that in the morning you're like, did that actually happen? Like what was going on there? But I believe it was a dream and we were both just in bed and we sat up in bed and Garrett turned to me and said you have touched my lips, but I have not yet touched yours, but I will. And that was it, and we went back to sleep. So the next morning I'm like God, what is that all about? He actually said in the dream. He said touch my lips and terrify me. That was the first thing he said. He said you have touched my lips, but I have not touched yours. I was like terrify me. That's really weird.

Speaker 2: 7:41

The next morning I was thinking about it and I felt like I thought of the book of Isaiah in chapter six, when Isaiah is standing kind of in this vision of the throne room and he's like whoa to me, a man of unclean lips, and the seraph goes and he takes a live coal from the altar and he comes to him and he touches his lips with it and he says see, your guilt has been taken from you and your sin atoned for, and so I felt like I was just reiterating that to me, that I had taken your sin, your guilt has been atoned for.

Speaker 2: 8:16

I had to forgive Garrett of some things too that were hard on our marriage kind of during this time as well, and so I think him just even saying that in the dream, like you have touched my lips, like I had extended forgiveness to him I haven't done it yet, but I will and so there's just moments like that all throughout, where God just kind of gave me this extra hope and assurance that I believe we were healing every single day in this journey. And our counselor even said that like you got to celebrate every little tiny step that you make, because it's such a long journey that you don't feel like you're making any progress or that you're ever going to get there.

Speaker 1: 8:56

But we were slowly but surely, we were, and so and I'm sure, even now, today, even now, maybe many years later, that you're still healing in each step and God restores. And I love how Jehovah Rapha is the God who heals and restores and I, just, in sharing your story, I just know and believe that that's what God has done for you in your marriage and even your ministry. You know he has restored health to your marriage and health to your ministry as well. And so now, how long have you all been in ministry and are you in full-time ministry?

Speaker 2: 9:50

now. So Garrett has always been in full I say always when he went into ministry. He has been in ministry full time since he did, you know about four or five years into our marriage. So he's been in ministry full time for 20 years and then he's been ordained a pastor, even though he's kind of acted in a pastoral capacity before this time. He was ordained a pastor about 11 years ago, right around it's the same year that we renewed our wedding vows and this was like kind of on the three year anniversary of my confession. We renewed our wedding vows.

Speaker 1: 10:25

That's beautiful.

Speaker 2: 10:26

Yeah. So it kind of redeemed that day in a sense for us. And he was ordained a pastor, which, you know, some people are like, well, that's kind of crazy. But I mean, I, I believe like like nothing can test a man, you know, more than what he had went through to see his true character, his relationship with Christ. And so I have always been the wife of someone in ministry. I have.

Speaker 2: 10:52

It hasn't been my vocation, I've never been paid for it you know, I've always had some other kind of job or side gig, and so that's even where we are. You know where we are now, where he's a full time pastor, and you know I serve him whatever ways I can with. You know, it's kind of a little one at home. It's probably not as much, you know, as it had been in the past. At times it's different seasons and that's okay.

Speaker 1: 11:14

Yeah, that's okay. I love that the church accept you all and and love you and and you all are. You know, still in the ministry that that what you know some people would look at as, oh, the, maybe the unpartable sin, you know and no, you cannot be back in the ministry, no, you'll never be able to serve again you know some churches do that and so I am.

Speaker 1: 11:45

I'm so glad to hear that you all are still in the ministry and that's wonderful, and the God is using you and using your story just to to show hey, you, you know there's healing in your running, healing in your running story. I love that. Let's take a quick break. I'm excited to tell you that I'm offering life coaching. If you're interested in coaching with me or want to learn more, run on over to my website, crystalloycom that's crystal with a C and Lloyd with one L and sign up for a free 20 minute coaching session with me. Also, don't forget to join my email list. You can email me info at crystalloycom. Can't wait to help you to go from running to know more running.

Speaker 2: 12:37

Absolutely, I think. I think it's almost. This is for me. I did not and I still don't fully grasp it right, but I didn't have near the grasp or understanding of God's love and forgiveness and grace until I had blown it so badly and run so hard away from him. Yes, that I experienced when, you know, I was able to come back and he welcomed me home and, and so it's just again, I can't fully grasp it. I don't understand it in its fullness. I don't know if we ever can on this side of heaven, but in a way it has just given us a much deeper gratefulness and understanding for all that he has done for us on the cross and having relationship and I love that.

Speaker 1: 13:25

You know now that you can minister to women in a different way, in a way that maybe they would feel like I can't go back to church because I've done this, or I can't even reconnect with God because I've done this. I've done that, you know, but your story shows that I mean you can, you can, you can be restored, you can have a healthy relationship with the Lord, god, and even in your marriage as well. So I love it. I love it and I love that you have shared your hard story with this and that that you're you're not stuck. You know, because I there's hurts in my life that I stayed stuck in for years and I'm sure there's a part where you might have been there, but now you're healing and you're no longer stuck in.

Speaker 1: 14:25

You know what you did. You know you're, you're sharing, not from the heart, but from the healing. Yes, that's great. I love that, yeah. So, um, how? How does your husband feel about you sharing? I mean, it's essentially I know it's your story, but it's both of your stories how does he feel about you sharing?

Speaker 2: 14:50

yeah, he's been so supportive and has certainly tried to make ways to allow us to share, and that has included in the past, me sharing some of his hard stuff too and some of his sin. And again, I'm not saying that any way to justify or excuse what I did. I'm just saying, yeah, we have a whole story together and we both have some ugly stuff to share, and he has been more than willing and open to have me and even us of those opportunities that rise, even share together to tell the world all that God has done and that there is hope and that there is healing and and that there can be. Even when things seem so hopeless and so broken and that it seems impossible to have anything, you know that's actually filled with joy and life and laughter, like my husband had felt at times. You know during this journey that that we can see those things even above and beyond anything we had experienced before, and so it's been wonderfully supportive.

Speaker 1: 15:50

Yeah, that's great. So what? At one part, because you had said that your children, you know, during the unfaithful times in your marriage, were not, you know, you didn't have children. So at one point, you know, you started healing and then your children came along. So how long had you been married and before your children came along?

Speaker 2: 16:17

because you have to a boy and a girl, yeah, yeah so I will say, one of the things that I grieved the most in this aftermath of my affair and Not knowing what the outcome would fully be, was the fact that I may have cost us Ever having a family together, that maybe he would be okay, that Garrett would be okay to forgive me, but yeah, I don't really want to go down that road. You know what I mean, that, yeah, he may never want to desire to do that, and so it was. He had Extended his forgiveness to me about two and a half years after my confession and he knew that I had had this strong desire during this time to want to start a family. But that just wasn't the highest priority for us to figure out and talk about at that time. And I would say it was probably about four or five months After he extended forgiveness where he just came to me one day where we're sitting in wobbly boots, barbecue, and he said you know, I think I want to, I think I'm ready to try to start a family. And so it was right around the time that we had reconciled on the three-year anniversary that was, in May, the three-year anniversary of my confession, and that summer, the following summer, just within a few months we Tried to start ahead of family. I got pregnant right away with our son and so that was Probably about 14. We had been married 14 years at that point in time and so we had him. But by the time he was born we'd been married 15 years. That pregnancy month great.

Speaker 2: 17:56

When we did go to expand our family a couple years later, that's when we went through a series of five losses in about 18 months and just very quickly won't go into that, but very quickly.

Speaker 2: 18:05

I believe that God had laid such a new strong foundation through what we had walked through with the affair that he was just really able to carry us through even that devastating time of of all those losses. And and then we had Said, god, we don't know what's best. You do, after a lot of prayers of like God, could we please just have a baby. That like lives. And you know, like all the fans, like all the specific prayers, that you don't think God's understanding what you're trying to say and we just gave it to him. We didn't think about it again and About two little over two years after our last loss, separately, out of the blue, we hadn't been talking about it. We felt like the Lord was saying try again. And so we did and we got pregnant. This was at the end of 2019 and I'm 43 years old going on 44 at the time, you know and we got pregnant and had a pretty healthy pregnancy and was able to deliver a little girl or a baby in 2020 at the right age of 44.

Speaker 1: 19:15

Wow, that is great. That's awesome. I love again. I love when God shows up and he shows out. He said you cannot put a timeline on your healing, you cannot put a timeline on your family. I love it. I mean, you don't even look like you're in your 40s, you look like you're in your early 30s.

Speaker 2: 19:38

I would have a two year old she, like you know, she helps me out.

Speaker 1: 19:42

Yeah, she keeps you young. Yeah, oh, that's beautiful. I love it. I love your story and I thank you so much for sharing. I know there's times where you know I have good days that I can share, share, share, and then there's those times where it's just hard to share and then even afterwards. So I want you to go and you, you just rejoice in your healing and what God has done in your heart and in your life and you know, and with your family, just enjoy. But before you go, I want you to share about your book, because I want everybody to know that you have a book and not just sharing here on the podcast, but they could read your book and then they can visit if you have a website, or just tell us you know all about you, where we can find you, where we can connect with you.

Speaker 2: 20:40

Yes, thank you. I did write a book I'm a love to beloved experience God's healing, hope, healing and forgiveness after committing adultery, and so it was written very specifically to the Christian, or certainly those that are wrestling with God, that have that have done this. There's a lot of resources out there for that, for those that have been betrayed, which is certainly needed, and I'm thankful for those. There's some resources for the couples, you know, kind of walking together, but there's not a lot out there that speaks specifically to the person that has blown it so badly. They don't know if there's any hope for them in their healing and forgiveness journey with God, and so there's certainly been people that have read that, that haven't committed adultery and said it was still so helpful for them too, cause it really was just kind of my healing journey with God, a lot of things that he taught me. So it's really for anyone that feels like they have just messed up too bad.

Speaker 2: 21:37

Like you mentioned earlier, I've done this, I've done that. I don't know, you know, if I can kind of come back to God. I think it would speak to them too, and so it's on Amazon, primarily on Amazon right now. Okay, I do have a website by the same name, from lover to belovedcom, so it shares a little bit more of our story. It has links to the book. It has links to my social accounts, which I'm kind of just getting started on. I'm a little late on the bandwagon. So, yeah, yeah, so Instagram, and I'm just starting YouTube kind of sort of, at Brenna Knopfel, so my name at Brenna Knopfel or where you can find me there.

Speaker 1: 22:12

So yeah, that's great. I love that and I'll make sure to put all of that in the show notes as well, so that you know they can find your book and they can find you and connect with you as well. And you know, are you open to what if a woman has committed adultery? Are you open to life coaching, you know, one on one with them? Is that something that you think you might do? Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 22:40

I appreciate it. I definitely have a heart to walk with people through this again, especially even as a woman. It's even more fewer resources, if you will, than the men committing adultery out there, and so absolutely I would love for them to connect with me. I don't have a formal program in place or anything at this time. They're hoping to maybe have some of those things down the road or kind of just getting started and seeing what God wants to do. But I would still love for them to reach out to me and at least have a conversation and see how I can love on them and share this with them. Oh, that's beautiful, yeah.

Speaker 1: 23:15

Yes, I love that, I love that and thank you so much for trusting me and trusting my listeners with your story and your running story and how you went from running to no more running, and I thank you so much. Well, thank you, friends, and remember there is nowhere that you can go that God will not bring you back and bring healing into your life, into your marriage, into your family, into your ministry as well. So I just encourage you to go and surrender to God. Okay, god, no more running. I surrender Until next time, friends. Hey, don't forget, you can sign up for the no more running email list at info at crystalloycom and make sure to like, share and follow. We would love for you to leave a review for the podcast. This helps us reach even more women who might find themselves running as well. Got to run.